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Punks continue Trail of Robberies
Southern Brooklyn, NY - A recent trail of robberies on Knapp Street and the surrounding areas continue to scare residents of the Sheepshead Bay community. Police have identified the robbers as two hoodlums belonging to the "punk rock persuasion". It is suspected that the duo are out-of-towners possibly recent cave crawl-outs still stuck in 1987. The leader dons a green mohawk and can possibly be connected with the non-existant South Hampton Nautical Punk rock community although some underplay that theory simply stating he is a "poser from Long Island". Police Inspector Schmittberger says, "Watch out for these two miscreants. Chances are they are up to no good."
Wayward Mental Hospital has a positive match on the partner, Fink DiMaggio, who apparantly escaped recently while undergoing psychological evaluation. He is an extremely dangerous deaf mute with connections to the Texas Inbred Punk Militia, a terrorist organization affiliated with Germany and Uzbekistani recreationists.
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